“I Don’t Belong Here”: Working Through Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever found yourself in a room, heart racing, thinking, “I have no idea what I’m doing. How did I even get here?”
That small voice whispering, “Soon they’ll figure out I’m not as good as they think I am,” — that’s imposter syndrome.

Imposter syndrome can show up in all kinds of places: a new job, grad school, parenting, relationships — really anywhere you’re stretching beyond what feels comfortable. Even though it can feel incredibly isolating, imposter syndrome is actually very common, especially among high achievers, first-generation individuals, creatives, and anyone stepping into spaces where they’ve been historically underrepresented.
What Is Imposter Syndrome?
Imposter syndrome isn’t a formal mental health diagnosis — it’s a pattern of doubting your abilities, even when you’ve clearly worked hard and achieved success.
You might fi nd yourself thinking things like:

● “I just got lucky.”
● “They must have made a mistake choosing me.”
● “If I don’t work twice as hard, I’ll fall behind.”

These thoughts can build over time, leading to anxiety, burnout, and a disconnection from your own accomplishments. Therapy can help you notice these patterns and understand why they show up.

Why Does Imposter Syndrome Happen?
Imposter syndrome usually doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It’s often tied to earlier experiences and messages you’ve received about success, belonging, and identity. For example:

First-generation pressures: If you’re the first in your family to go to college or enter a particular career, you might feel torn between different worlds — and wonder if you truly belong in either.
● Perfectionism: When you set unrealistically high standards for yourself, it can feel like you’re never “good enough,” no matter how much you accomplish.
● Feeling different: If you don’t often see people who share your background in the spaces you move through, it’s easy to feel like you don’t quite fi t in — even when you absolutely do.

When you’re always measuring yourself against impossible standards, it’s hard to trust that you already have what it takes.

How Therapy Can Help
Therapy gives you a chance to slow down and really look at these patterns with kindness and curiosity. Here’s how it can support you:

1. Naming What’s Happening
Simply putting a name to the experience — recognizing, “This is imposter syndrome” — can be powerful. Therapy helps you catch that critical inner voice instead of automatically believing it.

2. Understanding Where It Comes From
Together, we can explore how your experiences shaped these thoughts. Did they come from family expectations, school pressures, cultural messages, or something else? Understanding the “why” helps loosen their grip.

3. Seeing the Full Picture
In therapy, you can learn to recognize your strengths alongside your struggles. Needing help or not knowing everything doesn’t make you a fraud — it makes you human.

4. Rewriting the Story
Working with a therapist allows you to build a new, more balanced story about who you are — one that honors your resilience, your effort, your growth, and your right to take up space.

If This Sounds Familiar…

Feeling like an imposter doesn’t mean you’re not capable — it often means you’re stepping into new, exciting, and challenging places. Growth feels uncomfortable sometimes. You don’t have to face it alone.

At Ida Lillie, we help individuals work through self-doubt, identity challenges, and burnout with compassion and cultural sensitivity. If you’re ready to explore these patterns and reconnect with your strengths, we’re here to support you.